(Mom Warnings for the 21st Century - 'Unless you use Botox, your face will never freeze like that.' - 'Oh, and if a podcast told you to jump off a bridge?!' - 'If you Google yourself you'll go blind!')
'We're going to be taking baby steps for a while, so I've taken the liberty of ordering booties for all of us.'
(Sideview car mirror warning reads: 'Caution! Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Except for vampires. They don't show up at all.')
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